The past 24 hours

Hello Kenzie,
I am glad you value my advice...even when it is not what you want to hear. : - )
My first thought was that at this point you have been placed on awaiting list, not rejected. How many others don't even make it to the waiting list? Besides, does your calling to service have a window of time in which you could serve others? Does it need to be this summer...and if it does, then it is not a calling, but a desire. With regard to you finding your boyfriend's selection difficult, then his selection has become about you and not him. In my mind, that is neither a calling or a sense of service. It is a bit selfish, don't you think? I know that deep down, you are excited for his opportunity. Besure that he understands that your disappointed has nothing to do with his selection, but in fact, is about your need for wanting what you want, when you want it. Ouch! Immediate, self-gratification can be an ugly thing. : )
OK, so now that I have your attention, here is what I think. If you remain on the waiting list, you will have to try again next year. The need to serve should be ongoing, not mandated by," this is my wish for the summer between my sophomore and junior years." I know that when the opportunity arises, you will do a great job serving the needs of others. In the meantime, is there some place in the States that might benefit from the wonder of Kenzie? I suspect there are many. The world is a better place because you are a part of it. Whether you get to go abroad this summer, or you serve the needs of others closer to home, someone will benefit from being with you. I know I am a better person because of our friendship. I hope this helps. It is always important to see the bigger picture...even when we don't want to see it. I hope I will see you during the break. If not, have a great holiday. Mr R

Family

So, I started to keep a journal over Appalachia and I found it really calming and helpful, but I haven't kept up since being back really - so hopefully this can take its place!

And I can keep the family updated...

I miss my family. A lot. I wish I could be home for Dave's senior year - I feel like I am missing so much and I really wanted to see him play in the MAIT. He needs to apply to ND - I would absolutely LOVE to have him here.

I miss my dad. Our adventures. Our roadtrips. Our laughing fits. His hugs. Whenever someone calls me KJ I think of him.

I miss my mom. The person that knows me best. My comfort. My support.

I feel so old these days...I've learned to REALLY appreciate my family.

What I learned.

"Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "

Marianne Williamson